Truthful Tuesday

 

Okay, I have three today. Three ridiculous things that either happened or occurred to me this past week. 

1. I had an epiphany this week about Eros. You know how he's a delicate flower, and I can't ever jump him higher than 2'6" or he gets hurt? And sometimes he gets sore for no good reason too? Well. I think there's a reason. Take a look at Eros spelled backwards: S-O-R-E  Seriously! I can't believe I never noticed before. Who named this poor horse?! So yeah, not his fault he's dainty. He was burdened with that from whenever he got his name. Poor Dude.

2. Okay, I felt mildly bad about this one, but I still had to laugh. A little background. In P's old age she will sometimes just bark at nothing for quite a long time. Sometimes I can distract her away from it, but often times I just have to let her bark it out. So the other evening, I came in from the barn and let the pups out as normal. They were out for a bit then came back in. I sat down to write some emails and what not, and P started her barking in the other room. Important to note, she was NOT barking near the door. Well. Apparently, this time, the barking had a reason. After awhile, she walked into the kitchen where I was sitting with my laptop, looked up at me, and the pooped on the floor. Like "Mom, you're the worst and not addressing my needs! So here! I shit at you!" I felt badly for not addressing her needs (though to be fair, she had JUST been out) but I had to laugh. I deserved it after all. Pugs. They are too smart for their own good. And also quite funny. 

3. In the summertime when it's hot I am very good at staying hydrated and drinking water throughout the day. But this time of year, when it's cool and I'm not sweating so much when I ride, I'm not as on top my water intake. I generally make up for it in the evening when I'm in the house.  The only trouble with this is that hydrating so late makes me sometimes have to pee in the middle of the night. Well the other day, I woke up having to pee and I assumed it was the middle of the night since it was still dark out. But I noticed all the barn lights on. So there I was swearing that I had turned the lights out at night check. I did remember with absolute certainty that I had done night check, but I was thinking maybe I didn't turn the lights out? But then I distinctly remembered doing that too. So finally, just before dragging myself outside in my jammies I had the sense to look at a clock. It was not, in fact, the middle of the night. It was morning. 6:15 to be exact. My barn helper had come early, so he was out there with the lights on. It's so funny how disorienting it is waking from a deep sleep when it's still dark outside. 

So those are my confessions this week. All kinds of ridiculousness this week!

Truthful Tuesday

 

Vacation is over and it's back to the grind! I had a time of it trying to get out of bed to go ride Pammon this morning. And that leads to today's confession: I didn't really canter my horse today. 

He came out snorting at everything and I was a wee bit concerned climbing aboard. But Pammon is kind of a snorter in general so I try to set that aside and just ride the horse. We had the ring all to ourselves, which is LOVELY because the boarding barn can be a very busy place. But Pammon goes best with a buddy in the ring with him. He's a social guy, what can I way? 

Anyway, our warm up trot work went pretty well. He was definitely a little up, but was listening fine. So finally it's time to canter. Well I pick it up and he's tossing his head all around and is completely inside out. (Very hollow, brain oozing out the ears... You know, like horses do sometimes.) So I bring him back to the trot and he spooks. At nothing. Eye roll... 

Then he was on high alert, full periscope mode. I did put him back to work at the trot, but I called it a day with trot work. It's a little tough when they're up like that and you know you only have so much time because the work day is calling. (Literally.)

I hate not getting all the things done. I feel a little like I wimped out. And you know that tomorrow won't be better if they don't work enough today. To try and balance that out, I did put him down to have a free lunge tomorrow. Hopefully that can happen before I ride in the morning. Fingers crossed! 

Truthful Tuesday

 

Guys. I'm feeling a little stressed out lately. Pammon is back on the DL (more tomorrow). And my job. Ugh. Basically we have a secretary and a call center manager running things, and let me tell you. They haven't a clue what they're doing. It's not going well. I need to learn to stop caring so I can just get through the work days. But it's tough. Still have a job though. so yay? But that's not what we're going to talk about today, because that's annoying and who wants to read a bunch of whining? Not me!

So let's talk about something a little more relatable, illustrated with kind of hilarious photos. And a video. Shall we?

So I love to post about how perfect Shiny pants is. And you've all seen lots of video clips of her popping over little jumps looking just as adorable and perfect as ever. And really that's all pretty true. Every now and then she can be a little sassy though. Like doing this when I ask for canter:

But some days, the two of us just aren't on the same page. And that was true on Sunday when we had a little jump school. It started out fine. We maybe were a little under paced to start out, but the fences came up out of stride and it was okay. But then? It was like the distance fairy just left me high and dry. And I was pulling on that poor pony and making all kinds of bad decisions. Mostly we just chipped a bunch, but we had two particularly hideous jumps. Wanna see? Yes. Yes you do. 

Told you. Shiny really was still her perfect self. It was me. I was the problem. Maybe you're thinking, okay, well those weren't that bad... It's way more apparent when you stop the video:

Let me just pull your face off Shiny... You don't mind do you?

It looks like I'm laughing
But really I'm saying a bad word.

Poor thing. We did have plenty of good jumps too though. 

And I'm a good mom so as an apology for my bad riding I iced her legs.

Anyone know if they make these ice boots in pony size though? These do the job, but she finds them a little annoying because they're too long. Not that I mind icing her knees too. 

So my confession is that somedays I live up to the bad riding ammy stereotype. (Who doesn't?) Shiny also has a confession today... She's in raging heat and pees any time Eros makes eye contact with her. Super classy.

Anything you need to confess today? Any major ammy moments this weekend? 

Truthful Tuesday

Heh... so this is kinda funny. I haven't actually been to a grocery store since lockdown started back in March. I've been having my groceries delivered and really love the convenience. But the thing about that... you never know for sure what you'll get until it arrives. I like to turn on the substitutions option because I like to live on the edge. But I keep making the same mistake. 

I REALLY like the limited edition Most Stuf Oreos. They basically are filled with the equivalent of two double stuff cookies. It's sinful. And delicious. But I don't think my store actually has them despite letting me order them. You think after once or twice I'd turn off the substitution option on that. But I haven't. And now I have like 4 packs of the wrong Oreos floating around my kitchen. They don't even sub with mega stuff. They send the double. Which are good and all... but I'd rather they sub with mega stuff. ANYWAY, I have all these cookies, so I think I'm going to find a recipe that uses them rather just eating my weight in oreos for the next month.

What are you grocery habits these days? Do you brave the store? Favorite Oreo?

Truthful Tuesday

I alluded to today's confession a few times... It's that I had put a deposit on ONE MORE pair of Celeris boots back at holiday time. They had a chance to win a free pair, and I just couldn't pass that up! I didn't win the free boots, but I did win a nice discount. But here's part two of my confession: I haven't actually ordered them yet. I seem to have what I can only refer to as Boot Block. It's like writers block, but for boot design. I think I've got all the colors covered at this point.

Green

Blue

rose gold

more green

purple

teal

brown

pink glitter

silver

more pink and purple

Moooo cow and more green

You get the idea. Yes there are others. One of these weekends I'll get all the boots together for a photo shoot and you'll get that post you've all been waiting for. But we're not here for that today. Today we're here to discuss my Boot Block.

I got really excited yesterday when they posted some ridiculous hologram spur straps and was like YES! (Not for full boots, I'm not quite that tacky, just the accents!) But alas. That was a special order they had done and they can't get more of that leather. Boo. So I'm stuck. What I probably should do is just get plain black boots for my next show pair. But my Parlantis are still fine for showing. And let's be real, the chances of me showing this year are once again quite slim. So fun boots would make me much happier I think.

So what would you do if you were me? Any color(s) you think I'm missing? I'm not a red/burgundy/orange person so not those please.

Truthful Tuesday: The one with the ammy moments

I had a lesson on Pammon yesterday during which he was a perfect pony as he tends to be. (Most days. When he's not channeling Jamp.) But you guys. I'm having these moments of utter and total Ammy Panic. And it's an interesting thing. When this has come up in the past it's because I'm scared, and it's all encompassing and kind of there all the time. But this new issue is very temporary, and only happens when it happens. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't, so let me back up and talk about the lesson.
Things started out great! My warm up jumps were lovely. I was keeping my leg on and not locking up on his face. You know, RIDING. Kind of a miracle, but I was really enjoying it. Trainer put the jumps up to 2'9"-3' and things were still going fine.

3' looking less intimidating this week.

Until I had to jump the swedish oxer. It was the easiest jump in the ring, set about half way down on the quarter line. So no real turn to it, plenty of time to find and keep my pace.

This thing. It's 3' in the middle. NOT A BIG JUMP.

But alas. I cantered toward that thing and just locked up my elbows and took my leg off. Know what my horse does when I do that? Trots. As he should. So I basically pulled him up at it (like 4 strides out which is still plenty of time to put my leg on and jump the stupid fence...) like three times in a row. And then trainer threatened to make me trot it, but said I could try from the other direction first. So I did that and it was fine. A little deep, but no one died. Came back to the first direction and got it done. And then things mostly went back to good again.
But what's so frustrating is that blind panic four strides out if I don't see the distance. What's so hard about just putting my leg on and letting my perfect pony help me out? Why can't I do that?! I really don't know. I think we just need to keep doing the thing until the thing no longer causes panic. But sheesh. It's so frustrating kind of losing control of your brain and body, isn't it?! Does this happen to anyone else?
Anyway. I'm super grateful that I found Pammon. He's incredibly understanding of my #ammyproblems and just keeps trying to figure out what it is I want. He really is a special guy, and I'm so lucky to have him.

Even if he breaks stuff a lot.

Truthful Tuesday

So I had a lesson the other day with Eros, and I realized how much I've changed as a person since I was a kid. I like to think I've always been a good student. I do my best to listen and at least attempt to do what I'm being told. (I might be a good student, but I'm not always the most capable rider... Hence the ammy status!) I really don't like to be yelled at. And I don't like to be insulted. As a kid I would swallow that stuff and just keep trying. Kids get yelled at after all... Right?
But now that I'm a full fledged adult (technically... so says the law of ages being frighteningly close to 40 and all), I really have no patience for someone talking down to me and screaming at me. By all means, should I do something dangerous, PLEASE raise your voice. Get my attention. But if I pull my horse up AFTER completing a task, while simultaneously stating "I'm sorry, I can't hear you" I have no patience for you raising your voice at me and telling me I'm wasting time (especially after said yeller is the one who was 20 minutes late starting the lesson). I think it's disrespectful.

Here's what went down. Eros was weirdly quiet during the lesson. He's always quiet to flat, but normally jumping he drags me around like a Thelwell pony. I know he needs body work. I asked about a month ago and nothing's been set up. And I think that foot is starting to bother him a little. He's not lame, but he feels weak to me, and just not quite himself. I only jump about 2'6" to 2'9" in the lessons so I'm not worried he's doing too much and is why I didn't cancel the lesson. But now that I've jumped him, I'm much more confident he needs to see the vet and the body worker too. Anyway I digress....

So I had done a full course which went ok. But trainer wanted me to repeat this one three stride line on the diagonal, bending six strides to a little oxer. So I head to the three and get four. He just wasn't wanting to get to the base of the fences, and was landing really shallow. And then not responding to my leg to move up to get out. So we did the line, knowing we'd likely do it again, but it was difficult to hear what the trainer was saying because it was a windy day. I landed off the oxer and kept my canter aiming toward the diagonal to change directions. And suddenly she's like change direction over the gray gate. But I was already through the second turn and basically like three strides away from passing the gray gate. So I pulled up (not at the jump, we were passed it) and said I'm sorry it's really hard to hear you, and I was already passed the jump when you said to jump it. And she screams at me that I have to stop pulling up, and I waste so much time stopping like that.
And here is where I realized that I've changed as a person. The old me would have just kept going and let it slide. But not the grown up me. I said to her, "I having trouble hearing you. And if you want me to jump something you need to tell me before I've turned the corner to it not after." While I couldn't hear exactly what she was saying before telling me to jump that fence, I know she hadn't mentioned it until I was past the turn to it. It's not that I'm proud of myself for talking back to her, but I am glad I stood up for myself. I hear her yelling at the kids all the time and treating them like they're stupid when she doesn't always give them a fair chance to do something. And much of the time she hasn't really taught them what she's asking. I know my talking back probably just pissed her off and won't change her behavior toward anyone else, but hopefully it made her think for at least a second about how she treats people. We're paying clients. We're playing a part in keeping her business going. It's not right to be disrespectful.
What are your thoughts? Do you think I'm being overly sensitive about this? Do you respond well to being yelled at? (Some people honestly do!)

Truthful Tuesday

I have a couple of confessions today. The first is kind of hilarious... Many evenings (ok almost every one...) after dinner and whatever chores need doing, I snuggle on the floor with my pups. They don't normally sleep with me because they wake me up constantly, but we get some snuggle time in before bed.

It's not uncommon for me to actually fall asleep there on the floor. Normally it's for an hour or whatever and then I get up and go to bed. Well last night, I never woke up! I woke up this morning at 5 AM on the floor with the dogs. Oops.
My second confession is that I'm kind of riding terribly. But not in a bad way if that makes sense? I'm struggling a bit because I'm really just getting back into everything, and I'm riding a bunch of different horses. (#firstworldproblems) And they're mostly all new to me. Eros is my one familiar, but since we've just started jumping again, even that is pretty foreign. So I'm riding the struggle bus big time, just trying to figure everyone out, but I feel like I'm not too far away from having it all come back together again. In the past week or so I've gotten to ride five different horses!

Sochi

Fefe

Eros

Shiny

Pammon

And every single one of them is a different ride. Sochi is a push ride completely. If you go to your hand, your stride shortens and you chip. (I know from experience which I'll tell you all about tomorrow! He's not a regular in my life, I just got to borrow him this weekend.) Fefe is totally spoiled. She doesn't believe in going on the bit, or bending, or using herself in any way. But she's quite happy to trot and canter around the arena safely. Eros is perfect in every way. But he does expect that you work at least as hard as he has to. If not a little bit harder. Shiny is kind of lacking a go button. But there's a fancy pony in there that comes out when she feels like it. And lastly Pammon. Pammon is AMAZING. He has the most powerful trot, and the nicest canter. But for some reason I keep forgetting to keep my leg on and sometimes we break. Which totally leaves me giggling and feeling like a seven year old on a pony.
So they are all different, and they are all reminding me how to ride correctly. It's just getting the old body to follow suit. I think we'll get there though. Just gotta keep trying.

Do you have anything to confess this week? Do you know that feeling of being kind of a disaster, but you know the good is just around the corner? Share your stories in the comments!

Truthful Tuesday

Today's confession is that holy moly life is kind of crazy suddenly! Not because of the horses really, though that is going to be a huge change once Pammon gets here. It's more that summer arrives and there's so much going on. There's braiding jobs for one thing. No complaints there as that's paying for Shiny's new wardrobe. I have lots of friends turning 40 this year, so there are celebrations to attend. Those are super fun! But then there's all the boring stuff too. My car needs a bunch of maintenance, I still haven't brought it to the body ship to get fixed, and my emissions will be due next month. Boo. It seems I tend to schedule my dr appt's in the summer, so all of those are coming due. P needs her annual stuff done. And my job is CRAZY right now. Add in some home repairs, outdated electronics (looking at you 10 year old Macbook), and property taxes coming due, and the old bank account is looking pretty sad too. That new saddle might have to wait.
I guess what it boils down to is that I'm feeling a little bit of pressure between expenses and lack of hours in the day. But that's life right? I'm so grateful to have all the wonderful four legged creatures in my life to balance out the chaos!
Seriously, there's nothing like meandering aimlessly on your pony for a half hour to bring a little zen back into your life. Trust me, it totally works! (Assuming your pony is down for it too...)

Truthful Tuesday

I have a couple confessions today... We'll start with the most fun one. I got to take a lesson yesterday! I'll tell you all about it tomorrow, but my confession is that I learned that I am SUPER dependent on my spurs. Like mega, super dependent. And as a result, I am sore from head to toe. Literally. Everything hurts. Like, I was squeezing that horse so hard, my ribs hurt. So my takeaway is that I am far more out of shape than I thought, AND I need to ride without spurs more often.

less of these I guess...

 Confession number two: the fomo is a little too real lately. As we're approaching the start of a new show season, one that I really thought I would get to partake in, I'm feeling REALLY sad to be once again sitting on the sidelines. Don't get me wrong. I'm extremely grateful to get to ride every day finally. Even if it's just light flat work. It's just that this will be my FOURTH year of not showing. I know I dabbled a tiny bit last year with Eddie. Problem is, that made me really hungry for more.

Ero's says "Patience Grasshopper"

 

I'm ready though! I maybe have a lovely espresso Motion Lite coat on the way... And my Parlanti's are polished. So at least I'm prepared?

Truthful Tuesday

It's been a minute since I've confessed anything truly embarrassing to you guys. So I have a funny one today. Remember when I got to ride Big Brad recently outside? Well...
The mounting block in the outdoor ring there isn't all that tall. Bradley is pretty huge. (Close to 18 hands in fact.) There are two troubles with mounting a tall horse when you, yourself, are not tall. First is the obvious. You're not tall. But you know what else is true of not tall riders? Their stirrups are also not long. Thus, you have stubby legs that need to reach up to high stirrups.
Well. I climb myself up on that block and go to put my foot in the stirrup. I can't reach. I'm not sure if my breeches were too tight, or if I've lost all flexibility? Or I'm just too fat to bend my leg enough? I dunno. But I am not reaching that stirrup. I also know Bradley is going to walk off, so I gotta be sure I'm going if I manage to get a toe in there.
FINALLY I manage to get my toe in the stirrup. Just barely. And I grab a chunk of mane and hoist myself up there. Or that was the plan anyway. As I'm hauling my winter-sized bum up onto that brontosaurus, the chunk of mane I grabbed CAME OUT OF HIS NECK. I did manage to climb aboard, but with a handful of loose mane stuck to my fingers. Poor Bradley. Thankfully I didn't leave an actual hole in his mane, but it is a bit thinner down there at the base. I'm gonna need to use a grab strap just to get on him next time. How embarrassing. Note to self: lose weight and go back to yoga!

Has this ever happened to you? Or am I alone in this one?

Truthful Tuesday: The one where I'm confused about trainers and horse shopping

So I've been shopping the interwebs for my next magical unicorn. And truthfully, it's  beginning to look like what I'm wanting is actually a mythical creature. I have what I really thought was a decent budget. I did ok selling Badger and I have some money saved up so I was confident that I could find what I'm looking for fairly easily.
Granted, I want something special. I want a horse that could maybe pass as a hunter. (Doesn't have to be a fancy hunter, but something that if I had to step down, could hang out in that ring and be considered competitive, even if toward the middle/ bottom of the pack.) Something I could definitely take to the 3' adult medal finals. And maybe something I could try to get back into the AA jumper ring with. So it's a bit of a tall glass of water. I don't want a hot jumper, because I do want to be competitive in the medals. But I don't want specifically an equitation horse, because I'd like to get back to jumping 3'6". The adult medals are mostly 3', and I think there is one that's 3'3". So most of what we'd do in the near future would probably be jumpers (or hunters). I guess what I'm saying is, I want another Rio.

A/O Jumpers

AA Hunters

Some Equitation Class

And I HAVE the budget for what we paid for Rio. Unfortunately, that was 15 years ago. (HOLY CRAP, I've had him for FIFTEEN years?! We're both really old.) Apparently, horses cost more now. Plus I imported him, and I'm trying to shop here in the US this time. And this my friends, is why people shop overseas. Horses seem to cost more here.
Anyway, I already mentioned what I'd like to be able to do with this mythical beast, but here are the other things I'm looking for:
-Gelding (non negotiable)
-15.3 to 16.3, but could go bigger if the horse is perfect. Don't really want smaller. 3'6" looks enormous from anything smaller than 15.3.
-be sound, and give decent indications on a ppe that it should stay sound for a few years at least.
-Some show experience
-not especially spooky
-can take a joke (remember, it's me riding)
-I know horses buck and do stupid things. But I want one that will tell me when it needs to do that, and will get it out on a lunge line if need be. I'm too old to be a lawn dart.
-not too big of an ego (this is why Badger and I didn't get along, he thought I was the worst. He might not be wrong, but I prefer my unicorn not have such opinions.)
-it should be fairly attractive, most shows I just come home with a nice photo
-It needs to like being handled and groomed. My horses live with me, and we spend a lot of time not riding together. I want to enjoy the horse, and would hope he would enjoy me too.

Must appreciate weird horse moms.

You may have noticed I didn't mention an age. Preferably I'd like something between 8 and 10. The problem though, is that anything in that age range that fits the bill seems to cost six figures. While I have a rather padded budget (IN MY OPINION) I do not have six figures to spend on a horse. And to be completely honest, I wouldn't even if I did. That's nuts.
So that in a rather large nutshell is why I'm confused about horse shopping. I don't know what to give up to fit the unicorn into my budget. As you might imagine, I don't want to compromise on soundness. I can be flexible with age, but I also want a horse to ride and show for awhile, so I really don't want something well into his teens. Definitely no mares.
I've actually found several horses that seem to fit the bill, but they are all between 5 and 6. Which I myself am not opposed to, but this leads to my trainer confusion.

Got this one when he was 5 and I was 11.

My trainer, when we found Badger, had a lot of faith in me. She didn't think a young horse would be a problem. And I don't think Badger's age nor inexperience were really the issue, it was more just how everything played out, coupled with a personality miss match. You really can't know going in, especially with a very young horse, whether you'll have a personality clash, until you do. I don't hold anyone accountable for that. That's just how it is sometimes. No one gets along with every horse. And that's okay. But when I sent her a video for a horse I really liked, that was in my budget, she said he was too young. He's six, and did a handful of relatively big shows last year. Not too much for his age or anything like that, but enough to get an idea of how he'll handle those situations. The seller says he's an old soul, takes a joke, not spooky, etc.
I was really taken aback when trainer said six was too young. I mean, I DID say no more babies. But six to me is not really a baby, especially when it's already been showing. Both with a pro AND with an amateur. So I feel like my trainer has lost some faith in me, and that's lead me to some questions about where to go from here. I just really want someone who believes in my abilities and can help bring out the best rider in me. If she thinks I need something dead broke and half dead, I'm not sure we're on the same page. Not that I mind dead broke and half dead, I just can't afford that. And not to be cocky, but I KNOW I'm a decent rider. Rusty? Yes definitely. Sometimes have confidence issues? DEFINITELY. But if I get to ride regularly and have someone on the ground working with me at least somewhat regularly, there's a good rider in this body. And I have no issue with training rides (from my trainer, not boarding barn trainer... just to be clear.) But I do want a horse that lives with me, so that is something to consider with a green horse. Maybe that's all she was getting at. I dunno.
So to summarize, Truthful Tuesday today, it seems I need to be a little more realistic with myself about what kind of horse to be looking for, and what my abilities really are. I think this is the horsey version of a midlife crisis.
Anyone else ever been here? Any advice? Words of wisdom? Just be patient, and the right one will show up when it's supposed to (I do tend to believe that)?