I had a lesson on Pammon yesterday during which he was a perfect pony as he tends to be. (Most days. When he's not channeling Jamp.) But you guys. I'm having these moments of utter and total Ammy Panic. And it's an interesting thing. When this has come up in the past it's because I'm scared, and it's all encompassing and kind of there all the time. But this new issue is very temporary, and only happens when it happens. If that makes sense. Which it probably doesn't, so let me back up and talk about the lesson.
Things started out great! My warm up jumps were lovely. I was keeping my leg on and not locking up on his face. You know, RIDING. Kind of a miracle, but I was really enjoying it. Trainer put the jumps up to 2'9"-3' and things were still going fine.
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| 3' looking less intimidating this week. |
Until I had to jump the swedish oxer. It was the easiest jump in the ring, set about half way down on the quarter line. So no real turn to it, plenty of time to find and keep my pace.
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| This thing. It's 3' in the middle. NOT A BIG JUMP. |
But alas. I cantered toward that thing and just locked up my elbows and took my leg off. Know what my horse does when I do that? Trots. As he should. So I basically pulled him up at it (like 4 strides out which is still plenty of time to put my leg on and jump the stupid fence...) like three times in a row. And then trainer threatened to make me trot it, but said I could try from the other direction first. So I did that and it was fine. A little deep, but no one died. Came back to the first direction and got it done. And then things mostly went back to good again.
But what's so frustrating is that blind panic four strides out if I don't see the distance. What's so hard about just putting my leg on and letting my perfect pony help me out? Why can't I do that?! I really don't know. I think we just need to keep doing the thing until the thing no longer causes panic. But sheesh. It's so frustrating kind of losing control of your brain and body, isn't it?! Does this happen to anyone else?
Anyway. I'm super grateful that I found Pammon. He's incredibly understanding of my #ammyproblems and just keeps trying to figure out what it is I want. He really is a special guy, and I'm so lucky to have him.
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| Even if he breaks stuff a lot. |
I've had a couple cases of that as well lately, its so frustrating when it happens but sounds like it is passing for you! Yay Pammon!
ReplyDeleteEh... it comes and goes! But I think the more we do the less it will show up. Hopefully.
DeleteI see distances WAY TOO FAR AWAY. To the point that now my trainer won't let me look for anything until I'm 4 strides away. It's scary, but it's taken away the 4 stride panic if I don't see anything. I turn to the jump, look anywhere BUT the jump (because if I look, I see) and worry about steady pace and then about 4 strides out, look for the distance. Then I can squeeze or woah or make changes vs panic. It's still strange, but I'm a lot more consistent than when I saw the distance 6, 8, 10 strides out. But, I get exactly what you're saying, that weird panic feeling. Thankful for lovely horses that take care of us, right?
ReplyDeleteWhen I'm really confident and have been jumping regularly I can see them really early too, and my trainer says the same things! I'm not sure what's worse seeing the wrong one ten strides out or seeing nothing 4 out...
DeleteYes, I've been having this issue lately, too. A couple of lessons in the last month or so, I've found cantering to the left incredibly difficult, especially if I am riding in the surcingle. I have no real idea why, since I haven't had a fall or anything from just cantering around. This past Sunday, I totally locked up in the left lead and had a complete, "Oh sh*t, I don't got this" moment, when the reality is, if I could have just relaxed, I totally DID have it. :(
ReplyDeleteIt can happen when you least expect it! We all just need to calm down and enjoy the ride I think.
DeleteIf I had to guess, I would hypothesize that you are still not 100% confident in him yet. Which makes sense. Give yourself time.
ReplyDeleteThat could be! I think it's me I'm not confident in more than him. But it's a partnership, so I need to believe in both of us!
DeleteI've only jumped twice in the last 5 years, but I used to be absolutely terrified and freeze up at single oxers. I would stare at the base and stop riding, often causing a refusal. As is the story of my life as an adult amateur, My trainer at the time had to make me go to the fence and more or less hold my hand until I just jumped it. That trainer didn't teach me a whole lot of new skills, but she really helped my confidence over fences.
ReplyDeleteHaving the right person on the ground makes all the difference. I'm so grateful my trainer is so helpful and understanding.
DeleteHappens to me all the time! And I know Peebs is going to figure out the distance and jump no matter what but I still just freeze and lock up.
ReplyDeleteLike a deer in headlights! Pammon deserves to be knighted.
Deleteoh god, do i relate to this. i wish there was some sort of logic to it, some sort of way to rationalize it all away. sigh. glad you were able to keep working away at it tho!! and if you find the silver bullet that permanently fixes the whole panic thing, LMK haha
ReplyDeleteI think that silver bullet is... MORE LEG! Lol. Why though?
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