Tuesday, January 22, 2019

Truthful Tuesday: The one where I'm confused about trainers and horse shopping

So I've been shopping the interwebs for my next magical unicorn. And truthfully, it's  beginning to look like what I'm wanting is actually a mythical creature. I have what I really thought was a decent budget. I did ok selling Badger and I have some money saved up so I was confident that I could find what I'm looking for fairly easily.
Granted, I want something special. I want a horse that could maybe pass as a hunter. (Doesn't have to be a fancy hunter, but something that if I had to step down, could hang out in that ring and be considered competitive, even if toward the middle/ bottom of the pack.) Something I could definitely take to the 3' adult medal finals. And maybe something I could try to get back into the AA jumper ring with. So it's a bit of a tall glass of water. I don't want a hot jumper, because I do want to be competitive in the medals. But I don't want specifically an equitation horse, because I'd like to get back to jumping 3'6". The adult medals are mostly 3', and I think there is one that's 3'3". So most of what we'd do in the near future would probably be jumpers (or hunters). I guess what I'm saying is, I want another Rio.
A/O Jumpers

AA Hunters

Some Equitation Class
And I HAVE the budget for what we paid for Rio. Unfortunately, that was 15 years ago. (HOLY CRAP, I've had him for FIFTEEN years?! We're both really old.) Apparently, horses cost more now. Plus I imported him, and I'm trying to shop here in the US this time. And this my friends, is why people shop overseas. Horses seem to cost more here.
Anyway, I already mentioned what I'd like to be able to do with this mythical beast, but here are the other things I'm looking for:
-Gelding (non negotiable)
-15.3 to 16.3, but could go bigger if the horse is perfect. Don't really want smaller. 3'6" looks enormous from anything smaller than 15.3.
-be sound, and give decent indications on a ppe that it should stay sound for a few years at least.
-Some show experience
-not especially spooky
-can take a joke (remember, it's me riding)
-I know horses buck and do stupid things. But I want one that will tell me when it needs to do that, and will get it out on a lunge line if need be. I'm too old to be a lawn dart.
-not too big of an ego (this is why Badger and I didn't get along, he thought I was the worst. He might not be wrong, but I prefer my unicorn not have such opinions.)
-it should be fairly attractive, most shows I just come home with a nice photo
-It needs to like being handled and groomed. My horses live with me, and we spend a lot of time not riding together. I want to enjoy the horse, and would hope he would enjoy me too.
Must appreciate weird horse moms.
You may have noticed I didn't mention an age. Preferably I'd like something between 8 and 10. The problem though, is that anything in that age range that fits the bill seems to cost six figures. While I have a rather padded budget (IN MY OPINION) I do not have six figures to spend on a horse. And to be completely honest, I wouldn't even if I did. That's nuts.
So that in a rather large nutshell is why I'm confused about horse shopping. I don't know what to give up to fit the unicorn into my budget. As you might imagine, I don't want to compromise on soundness. I can be flexible with age, but I also want a horse to ride and show for awhile, so I really don't want something well into his teens. Definitely no mares.
I've actually found several horses that seem to fit the bill, but they are all between 5 and 6. Which I myself am not opposed to, but this leads to my trainer confusion.
Got this one when he was 5 and I was 11.
My trainer, when we found Badger, had a lot of faith in me. She didn't think a young horse would be a problem. And I don't think Badger's age nor inexperience were really the issue, it was more just how everything played out, coupled with a personality miss match. You really can't know going in, especially with a very young horse, whether you'll have a personality clash, until you do. I don't hold anyone accountable for that. That's just how it is sometimes. No one gets along with every horse. And that's okay. But when I sent her a video for a horse I really liked, that was in my budget, she said he was too young. He's six, and did a handful of relatively big shows last year. Not too much for his age or anything like that, but enough to get an idea of how he'll handle those situations. The seller says he's an old soul, takes a joke, not spooky, etc.
I was really taken aback when trainer said six was too young. I mean, I DID say no more babies. But six to me is not really a baby, especially when it's already been showing. Both with a pro AND with an amateur. So I feel like my trainer has lost some faith in me, and that's lead me to some questions about where to go from here. I just really want someone who believes in my abilities and can help bring out the best rider in me. If she thinks I need something dead broke and half dead, I'm not sure we're on the same page. Not that I mind dead broke and half dead, I just can't afford that. And not to be cocky, but I KNOW I'm a decent rider. Rusty? Yes definitely. Sometimes have confidence issues? DEFINITELY. But if I get to ride regularly and have someone on the ground working with me at least somewhat regularly, there's a good rider in this body. And I have no issue with training rides (from my trainer, not boarding barn trainer... just to be clear.) But I do want a horse that lives with me, so that is something to consider with a green horse. Maybe that's all she was getting at. I dunno.
So to summarize, Truthful Tuesday today, it seems I need to be a little more realistic with myself about what kind of horse to be looking for, and what my abilities really are. I think this is the horsey version of a midlife crisis.
Anyone else ever been here? Any advice? Words of wisdom? Just be patient, and the right one will show up when it's supposed to (I do tend to believe that)?

29 comments:

  1. I agree it is so hard to find the right horse. You will have to compromise on something. To me 6 is a pretty decent age. Maestro was behind in his training and had only shown a couple times spread over several years (4 to 6 years old) and thus more of an unsure pick than the horse you mention. I also really wanted a horse with an easy lead change which I didn't get, lol. However he more than made up for those things by being brave to fences and just generally being a good egg. I've certainly had my doubts a few times (usually when he's squealing and hopping in the air or circling in a cross canter forever, lol) but I am hopeful it will all work out in the end.
    I think you should push back on trainer for her reasoning. Does she just think you want to get right to it and be competitive so it's a bad choice to go that age? There are certainly reasons less negative towards you for that opinion. Also I never regretted sitting on a variety of horses, so even if it's a frog and not a prince it's just part of the journey so I would try anything that seems like it could work.

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    1. I think you're right. I've been all sorts of down since I can't ride (again!) and I think I'm letting that spill into my interpretation.
      I'm definitely excited to try lots of horses, but so far, I haven't found anything close enough to just go and look. If I have to travel by plane, I want to be sure it's a viable option at the very least.

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  2. It's insane what horses cost now. I mean, maybe some of them are worth it, but so few of us have those budgets. I was shopping for something relatively quiet, reasonably attractive, and able to do the 2'6 local hunters. I ended up buying a green horse and, kinda like Badger, we just were not a good match. I let my trainer convince me to buy him even though I wasn't 100% sure he was the one. After spending an absurd amount of money on training and lessons (my husband is a saint), and a lot of tears, i ended up rehoming him. So my advice is, regardless of what anyone says, do not buy something that you aren't absolutely in love with. Horses are too expensive to not love what you're riding. And there will always be more horses for sale.

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    1. Yes, I totally agree! I'm not buying anything that I have the "I like him but" thoughts. I want to just like him period. On the other hand, I didn't really love Rio when I first got him. I knew he was the nicest horse I'd ever had, but it took some time to really figure each other out. So I guess I need to also trust my trainer in that respect.

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  3. idk i think 6 is kinda the turning point for maturity and emotional stability for a lot of horses. not every 6yo is grown up yet (hell there are 10yos that are still complete babies) but plenty are. the horse might be worth a look if every other box is checked and you feel ok with the age.

    re: the trainer thing, that's a tougher nut to crack. in your shoes, i'd probably try to discuss in person next time i saw them. honesty and trust are pretty important in my trainer relationships, so if i felt like we couldn't have that dialog then maybe there are bigger problems. or maybe your trainer just said "too young" off the cuff without realizing how serious you were or how that comment could be perceived? idk. good luck on all fronts tho!!

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    1. I agree. I definitely don't want a 4 or 5 year old anymore, but I feel like six could be a reasonable age. Just depends on the horse.
      I know in my brain that a conversation is probably the right way to go with trainer. It's a little tough because she's in Florida and I'm up here.

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  4. I will say horses seem to be priced way higher in the States than here in Canada. With the exchange you could probably find your unicorn, fly up to try it, ship it and still spend less than you would south of the border.

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    1. That's definitely an option! Though I have very little desire to travel up there this time of year! Haha! (It's probably not much colder than here lately though...)

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  5. wtf six figures? WTF i am still getting over this. HOLY COW. I am over here in the corner shaking my head.

    I would go and sit on horses if possible to see what is what. Like what Stampy said, go kiss a few frogs.

    As to your trainer....I would def meet with her in person (and bring wine or beer or something) and have a heart to heart with her? is this trainer where Eros is or somewhere else? No matter sit down and discuss this and say what you want and when you want it (I want to do this year with maybe doing this next year and so on). Ask her opinion of what she thinks would be good for you. And just keep looking. OMG I am still in six figure awe LOLLOL

    And yes you are close to Canada right and we have peeps there, talk around up there too! SHIT that is insane. :)

    Rio is the cutest that eq picture i would have up on my wall and as my desktop and shit maybe even a tattoo. SWOON SO NICE

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    1. No, no, this is MY trainer, the one who's in Florida for the winter. Definitely not planning to involve the trainer where Eros lives... When she said six was too young I pointed out my budget and she said she'd talk to some people. So maybe I should be more patient. BUT I WANT TO RIDE!

      Canada is also on the option list, you know, once it's above negative degrees!

      Thank you about Rio! He's the most special unicorn, and it's REALLY hard to try and find another.

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  6. That seems a bit strange about your trainer. Also my 20 year old is not as quiet as my 6 year old mare, so age is sometimes just a number for sure XD Would it be frowned upon to go and try some horses without your trainer and bring her to meet the "finalists"? I don't know how Canadian prices compare but from some of the other comments that sounds like a viable option.

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    1. I know. The dynamic feels a bit different, but also, I'm not exactly a paying customer to her right now either since I have nothing to ride. So I don't know if I'm just being a little oversensitive. But whether or not it was meant to, the comment kind of stung me.
      I honestly do plan to try horses without her. She's in Florida and showing while I'm here eating chips, so the logistics would be tricky. My plan was to send her videos and see what she thinks is worth looking at, but maybe I should just go look and send videos of me on the horses. Narrow down that way.
      Horses do seem somewhat cheaper up in Cananda, just a little unsure how much I want to travel that direction during the winter. Might be worth it though!

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  7. I would echo that Canada is a good place to look. I am not sure where you are located but I don’t mind scouting. 😉 6 figures for a horse that you are wanting sound crazy. I love appendixes and they are often less expensive.

    Now for the trainer- have a conversation. When I was looking she helped in some ways but rejected a lot that I regret. When I bought Steele she was not happy but by that point she had retired from teaching so I figured it was up to me. Age is not as critical as temperament. A quiet 6 year old is way better than a hot 10 year old IMO.

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    1. I LOVE a nice appendix horse! That gray horse up there was one, and he was amazing. He did all three rings too, and we grew up together. Got him as a five year old and we struggle-bused our way up the ladder just fine! (And he was barely 5 figures, but that was LONG ago.)

      I agree 100% about temperament vs age. And that's why I thought this particular six year old might check all my boxes.

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    2. Also, sorry forgot to address the earlier part, I'm in Connecticut, so not horribly far from Canada. But far enough, I may want to wait until it's a bit warmer to shop up that way!

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  8. I'm really struggling to shop right now too. I thought I had a nice starting budget for something I wanted...but as you mentioned above everything is SO pricy right now. I'm not really sure what I'm going to do, short of changing disciplines. It's really depressing sometimes!

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    1. Maybe the key is to wait until winter circuit is over, or at least farther along? I'm wondering if prices are inflated because are itching to show?

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  9. It’s above freezing here in Alberta today, plus we generally have lovely heated indoors ;)

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    1. Oh! That's warmer than here! The high today was 20 which was a lot better than yesterday's 8 (that's Fahrenheit...) I had forgotten about heated indoors! We had one in college (I was in Saratoga NY) but there aren't many heated ones around me in CT.

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  10. I have no idea if any of them would be fancy enough for you, but I'm part of a group with QH/Appendix over fence horses for sale and would be happy to add you if you want to browse - they're often priced better and they all tend to be able to take lots of jokes. And they grow up a lot faster, hah.

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    1. Oh yes please!!! I love appendix horses, but I don’t know where to find the good jumping ones. Thank you! (The gray horse in the photo above was an appendix)

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  11. Horse shopping is rough :( I hope you find your unicorn soon!

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  12. I think this is why people go to Europe for good show horses. I say think because I obviously don't know and own Mustangs and a mule. I have no experience in fancy horseflesh. I get wanting to look in the US, but if you're not seeing what you want... Also, maybe it's different in H/J world, but I thought a lot of people took horses off the market in the winter? Maybe you'll see more good prospects in the spring.

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    1. It's funny, partially I was just trying to save time and money while supporting the US market. But I don't think I'll save in the long run. An overseas trip might be the better way to go. But first I have to renew my passport. Or get a new one, not sure how long it's been expired. Oops.

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  13. Come to California <3

    Also yeah as far as your trainer - I'd ask her point blank or feel her out if you are a good judge of people. Because there is no use staying where they don't believe you are capable (my journey last year should be a good highlight of that)

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    1. Yeah, I need to figure out the best way to converse with her about it. It's harder being in different states. And yes, I've definitely learned from your journey! I think mine will come back around when she seems me confident again. She hasn't actually seen me ride in over a year.

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  14. I know your trainer travels, so I'm sure that's helpful but I'll throw this out there too. I feel like horses on the East coast are more expensive than perhaps the Midwest. I sold my previous horse in Maryland for a little less than double what I paid here in Ohio... and while he did have MORE experience, he was not doing anything different than when I bought him.

    With the World Equestrian Center, there's the option to see multiple horses in one location without additional travel and even though its winter, you have plenty of space to ride and try them. Just a thought -- obviously your trainer will know best <3

    P.S. HANG IN THERE. Horse shopping is THE WORST. But it's worth it when you find the right one.

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    1. I was thinking about possibly planning a trip there to try horses. It seems a lot of people with sales horses will be there, but the ones I'm seeing are not the inexpensive ones unfortunately. Maybe if I wait a bit and they still have them, the prices will come down. I feel like with all the economic uncertainty in our country right now, horse prices should be coming down... But who knows.

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