Truthful Tuesday

 

I got hit with a real case of nostalgia recently. I made a trip up to the mall I used to frequent as a kid and teen recently because I wanted to stock up on some cheap tee shirts and maybe jeans at Forever 21 before they went out of business. It's been well known for awhile around here that this mall is not well. But I didn't realize how empty it truly was until I went up there. There are hardly any stores still open. There's still a pretzel place but some generic one, not Aunty Anne's. There's an Ann Taylor, a Victoria's Secret, a prom dress store, and honestly, that's about it. Might have been a sneaker place too. A lot of the stores that closed still have their fronts up since no one is planning to come. It was so sad. This used to be the place to shop back in the day. I remember when it first opened in fact. 

When I was a kid/teen occasionally my mom would let me take a mental health day from school, usually on a Monday (barn closed day) after a particularly long weekend of horse showing. And after catching up on some sleep we would head up to the mall for a little shopping and dinner. It was always so much fun to spend time with my mom like that (without my older brother tagging along)! 

It is called The Crystal Mall because of this giant crystal chandelier in the center over a stairwell. The chandelier is still there and you can't miss it because you have to take the stairs. The escalators are no longer running. Imagine that?? The anchor stores are all closed. Even the food court is deserted. There were just two restaurants still open Panda Express and a Japanese option. I had planned to get Taco Bell because the website still shows it being there. Definitely disappointed! Settled for eating at home instead since I was in and out of there pretty quickly. Not any place else to shop other than the one store I had planned to go to. 

I also recently got news that the barn I rode at as a junior is sold to developers. It was nearly bought by a friend of mine, but unfortunately that didn't play out. Such a loss for the area. This place hosts shows all year long. It's always my first choice to attend because it's close, generally well run, and it feels comfortable to me since I grew up there. Even Al has shown there and we've only shown twice. We need more good boarding options in this area, not less. I had really hoped someone would go in there and make the place over. But alas. It will likely end up condos. I've heard they are running their April show one more time this year, so I'm hoping one of my horses will be ready to go for one last hurrah. We shall see. 

I have so many memories at that place. Good and bad, as you accumulate both over many years. But all of my equine firsts happened there. From my very first lesson, to my first horse, my first loss of a horse, my first horse show, my first year end award, the list goes on and on. I also experienced a barn fire while there which was truly devastating. I've written about it here. Lots to reflect on for sure. End of an era.

So between these two scenarios, I'm feeling OLD, a little sentimental, and a lot of nostalgia. But all good things eventually come to an end so that new and hopefully better things can be born. So today's confession is that going to a mall made me a little emotional. And that's definitely weird. 

Thursday's Threads

 

Outfit Day!!! We're returning to our regularly scheduled barn colors this week, but don't worry, there's something fun at the end so it's not completely boring. It's Shiny's turn to model, but I failed at getting a full pony photo today. Sorry about that... Anyway, here's what she had on today:

Bridle: Pinnacle
Brow band: Boy O'Boy Bridleworks

Guys. Her ear hair is getting out of control. We are definitely overdue for a spa day. Fuzzy ears aside, I love how this bridle looks on her.

Saddle: Custom Saddlery
Saddle Pad: Mattes

This is the green version of the saddle pad Al was wearing last week. (He had the blue one.) I love these pads. 10/10. Highly recommend.

Boots: Eskadron

I say this every time I use these boots, but I really like them. I wish Eskadron would stick with a boot style and just change the colors each season. I'd love to have a shed full of these in different colors.

That's what Shiny was wearing today and here's what I had on:

It's wonderful to have these beautiful sunny days, but it's terrible for mirror photos in my room. 

Helmet: One K Avance CCS Mips

I forgot a fresh photo of the helmet, but it was this one.

Sweater: Old Navy

You guys have seen this sweater a lot. It's been one of my favorites the last two years. Starting to show the wear and is getting a bit pilly, but I don't mind that for a barn sweater. 

Belt: Rebecca Ray

I love my fluffy cow print belt. It was an exciting day when it appeared under the clearance tab!

Breeches: Tailored Sportsman

These aren't new, I got them sometime last year. But I forget if I told you their story. I was mildly obsessed with finding these breeches either used or on closeout. It was seeming to be a fruitless search for the longest time. I regularly checked the used TS Facebook page. I hunted Instagram and Poshmark. Nothing. And then one day they appeared! On Facebook. For $85 and barely ever worn. Totally worth the wait! And even better, they're side zip which is my preferred zip. They're also mid rise, which is my preferred rise too. What a find!

Boots: Celeris UK

Here's the fun part! I've often said I can't decide which boots are my favorite. But that's a lie. These are my favorites. Hands down. I especially enjoy being at a barn where I can wear them without being told I'm going to negatively influence the children... Ha! When I had these made, I had to sign a waiver that I understood this hide might not wear well as a full boot. And there's a few places that they're rubbed a bit, like where the stirrup leather runs across the front and near the spurs. But honestly, they're holding up really well. I will absolutely get them again if/when they do wear out. 

That's it for today! I think the cow boots are less crazy when I don't go full cow outfit. But like, I do enjoy a good crazy full cow outfit, so fear not, that will happen again one of these days. 

What's Up Wednesday

 

Holy moly the last seven days have been busy! Not so much with horses, though they do take up the largest portion of every day. In typical spring time fashion, the schedule goes from empty to very full in the blink of an eye. The timing worked out well though, because the horses had their follow up with the vet on Friday which meant I had less riding to do on my busier days. Sometimes the stars align!

Al continues to be so much happier outdoors. Today he started out very distracted and I was about to be VERY disappointed that he was reverting back to naughty Al. Fortunately, he was just distracted by the turnout shifts changing and once that was done, he went right to work. We even popped over some tiny jumps out there! 

When doc came, we had to do our evaluations indoors unfortunately because it was back to being very cold and the wind was just silly. The good thing about that was doc finally got to see Al in full shut down mode which he's never seen before. Rather than doing a lameness evaluation we had more of a therapy session. And the end result is getting a little more aggressive with the ulcer treatment. We're taking him off the senior feed he's been getting (and not really eating) and switching him to just a ration balancer and hay pellets. We're doing a slow changeover so that will be fully changed sometime next week. We're also doing an omeprazole/fenbendazole paste in the mornings before being fed. And lastly, I'm to give him 6oz of U-shield before riding him to coat his tummy. The U-shield just arrived today so we haven't started that yet. I also waited a few days to start the omep/fenben paste because we make supplement packs up for the horses here and I didn't want to throw away the ones I had made that omeprazole powder already in them with other things he's on. So the only change that's really happened so far is the feed, and he's already eating better. Not sure if that's just because it's different, or if it's helping him. But either way, I'm glad he's eating. Fingers crossed all of these changes will get him on the right track. I really would love to show him some this summer! But first we need to achieve a forward canter all the way around the ring. 

Eros' evaluation was pretty uneventful, which is the best kind of vet check. He's still a touch uneven on that weird leg of his, but we've kind of just accepted that as him at this point. It doesn't change at all with flexions and while we didn't do any blocking this time, in the past it doesn't really change much with a block. I think it's more of a mechanical problem than a painful problem. His back is still somewhat sore, but much improved over the last visit. Doc was really happy overall with what he saw soundness wise. But I told him I still can't get a right bend out of him, and I think that's contributing to some his other issues. So we decided to inject his shoulders again. I haven't had that done for a few years, but the last time we did it he felt amazing afterwards. And I do feel like that's where he can't bend. Like I can get him to turn his head, and I can get his belly to bend some, but nothing in the shoulder/lower neck area. So he got his shoulders injected and doc also pumped the shoulders with air which we haven't done in a long while. He also had his back shockwaved which proved to be even more tight than he let on. He was legit moaning for it despite being pretty heavily sedated. We tried to get video of it, but the phone only picked up the shockwave noises. 

We wanted to see how the new saddle panels were doing for him, so doc used the thermal camera he has to show where the hotter points were both on the saddle immediately after riding and on Eros' back. The fit is actually pretty good and even throughout heat wise, except for the area where I'm perching forward because the balance is still pretty wrong for me. So that's useful information for when I get the fitter back out. But the really interesting thing we learned when the thermal camera was out was on his legs. Doc pointed it at his front legs, and the right leg looked pretty normal for right after work. Mostly blue at the front of the cannon bone, and around the back you could see where the vessels were warm from work. But the left leg, his weird one, was just all blue. Like no red or yellow at all. Very strange. Doc had never seen anything like it before and basically said I have no idea what this means. So we're tabling that for now.... More research needed. Interesting though. And kind of made me wonder if the unevenness could be from a lack of feeling in that leg maybe? I mean I know he can feel things. He reacts to flies on it and what not. But I wonder if it feels kind of asleep to him maybe? There's obviously enough circulation since his foot grows just fine. I dunno. It's a mystery for now. But certainly interesting!

Shiny's evaluation went just fine too. She was a touch positive on the stifle flexions, but the hocks still looked good and the front end flexed fine too. We decided to go ahead and do the stifles which she hasn't had done before. She had plenty of fluid in them still which is great, but it was pretty yellow which suggests inflammation, so it was the right call to do them. She also had her neck shockwaved and doc pumped her shoulders too just to see if made any difference. She's not been feeling unsound, but she's reluctant to come round and just wants to bounce off the contact. I know that the schokwave usually helps this so it will be interesting to see if pumping the shoulders helps even more. 

Al stayed in work all weekend since he didn't have any real vet work done on him, but the other two had the weekend and Monday off and started back to work Tuesday. I've been riding everyone outside this week, and that put a little wrench in a true evaluation of how they're feeling. The footing in the outdoor ring is sand and it's just a little bit deeper than I really like, but not what I'd call bad footing. Between that and the fact that it isn't level, and it's a real tough workout when the horses first start working out there. I can feel all of them working harder on the little up hills and even just in the deeper footing in general. Al is feeling more used to it since he's been out there more than the others so far. I will say though, that even though I can tell the horses are working harder out there, I can still feel that the vet work has made a difference for both of them. They're both really reaching through their shoulders in a way I haven't seen in awhile. Eros is finally realizing he can, in fact, bend right. Though it does take some time each ride to convince him. Shiny's trot, while still slower than I want it to be, is much more powerful. Like it's almost hard to sit her trot now. So that's a good sign. She still isn't thrilled with coming round, but when she does there's much less bouncing off the contact. So I think they're both on the right track. I probably won't jump either of them this week. I'll give them some more time to acclimate to the different footing before we start that. But I do want to jump Al some again soon. We only did like five jumps today and they were MAYBE 18" high, so he certainly hasn't done much. And he seemed genuinely happy when I pointed him at the fences, so I think he'd like to have some fun. We'll see what the weather does. 

The rest of my weekend was full of some fun with friends at a Chili Cookoff and an adorable theater experience with my family (my younger niece was in 101 Dalmations). Tonight I drove up to the University of Connecticut to give a braiding demo and lesson to their riding club. It was fun! It's easy to forget how hard braiding can be when you're new at it. They all did a great job though and also had good questions for me. It's a lot of fun, and I keep thinking I should offer braiding lessons locally. I'm just not sure what kind of insurance I would need for that. Something to look into though maybe. 

That's it from here this week. This weekend is quieter so hopefully I'll do some fun things with the horses. 

Truthful Tuesday

 

I was talking to an older amateur at my barn yesterday about a couple of horses we both know. Both are thoroughbreds but they are two very different horses. One of them is beautiful, thick, decent mover, very well put together. He's also reactive, a little unpredictable, and wants to be dominant. The other is the lankier type TB, not a great mover, not the soundest horse you'll ever come across. But he is a real doer. Very kind, not at all spooky, wants nothing more than to do the right thing all the time. 

I had said if I was offered one of them to ride, I would choose the second one. But she said she would choose the first. What was interesting to me is that I thought I would lean toward the safer option because of my age, but after this conversation, I think it's really just because that's who I am as a person. And the more I thought about it, the more I realized that this is exactly why nearly every horse is marketable to someone. (Exception being one that is ugly, bad moving, unsound, unpredictable, and dominant. Ain't no one need one of those!) 

I think it's easy to be drawn to the pretty horse. We all want a pretty horse, right? I've obviously fallen for a pretty horse more than once... But often those pretty ones come with quirks. Or are just not the easiest horse in the barn. They're the ones that make us the better riders though. And if you show the hunters, their the ones that judges will notice. But I think I personally have reached a point in my life where I'd rather have something reliable. Maybe a little less pretty. Probably won't win a hack class. But one that's a doer. That wants to do the right thing for its person. 

What I find really funny (and works to my advantage) is that these horses are often the less expensive ones. Because pretty costs more. But you know what I think? I think a good brain and a ton of heart is invaluable. Horses that try and try and try are worth more to me (and probably most run of the mill amateurs) than any beautiful, hack winning hunter any day. 

So I'll keep shopping the horses in the clearance section. The rejects. The ones that aren't pretty enough. Because those giant hearts can't be beat. And yes, I'll also keep plugging along with my pretty horse, because he was also a clearance find. He's quirky, he's difficult, and boy can he make me feel like a failure. But he does have a big heart. And he's kind. And sometimes we have to work a little to get what we want. 

All that rambling to get to this confession: I put kindness and safety before flashy. I value work ethic over aesthetics. I think pretty is as pretty does. 

Just because that's what I want, doesn't mean that's what everyone wants or needs. So what about you guys? What would you list as your most important attributes in a horse for you?

Thursdays Threads

 

Outfit day again already! Time is flying. Before you know it, we'll be back home with outfits galore at our fingertips! But until then, we opted for one more week of navy. This time though, Al wanted to model his outfit OUTSIDE! So we'll let him start. Here's what he is wearing this week:

What a pose... A confirmation horse he is not. Look at the mane blowing though, you can feel the wind in this photo.

Bridle: Joseph Sterling

Brow band: Dark Jewel Designs

Look at that soft unbothered eye. Haven't seen that in many, many months.

Saddle Pad: Mattes
Saddle: Butet

All three horses are sort of kind of maybe starting to shed finally, so I'm hopeful that Al will be able to back to his usual baby pad and half pad set up soon. But until then, we'll keep using something with sheepskin on the bottom, until the summer hair comes in on his back.

Boots: Horze

I apparently forgot to snap a photo of his boots, so this is a very zoomed in screenshot from his full outfit photo. And it looks even more awkward because I tilted it trying to make him look straighter and I clearly failed at that. Oh well! No one ever accused of me of being a photographer!

That's what Al wore, and here's what I had on:

It's lovely to wear a hoodie instead of layers and layers of wool!

Helmet: One K Avance CCS MIPS

I do like the blue helmet. I wish they'd make a nice green one. One can dream!

Sweatshirt: Champion

A couple of years ago Champion had a fleece jacket I was dying to own, so when it finally went on sale, I ordered it. But I hate paying for shipping so I added this to cart as well to get to the threshold. I loved it at the time since it was the other barns colors. So recently I've hated it for the same reason. But I'm starting to forgive blues for something they never actually did wrong. 

Belt: Brighton

I got this belt ages ago second hand to match my OG navy and croc boots that I had. I still have them, but they are needing zipper replacements. Still love the belt though! Especially with the buckle upgrade I gave it.

Breeches: Tailored Sportsman

Tailoreds are probably the most flattering breeches out there. I'm so glad it's warm enough to be wearing them again!

Socks: Dreamers & Schemers

D&S did these as a fundraiser for the Ukraine back when the war started. I thought it was appropriate to bust them back out again after... well you know. 

Boots: Celeris UK

I think these are FINALLY broken in! I wore them today with no bandaids on my ankles and I think I'm wound free! Celeris really does make the nicest boots. I swear I ride better in their boots than I do other brands. 

That's it for this week! Anything you guys are waiting for me to do for Thursday's Threads? 

What's Up Wednesday

 

I know it's too soon to call, but we are having glimpses of spring around here. We've had a few days in the fifties even. Of course no warm weather comes tax free so we also have insane winds pretty regularly. But whatever, I'll take it. Anything is better than living weeks at time below freezing. ANYTHING. (Please remind me of this when it won't stop raining in a few weeks,)

Anyway, due to said nice weather, rather than focusing on jumping things, we've been working on transitioning back to riding outside. Thank goodness! Friday I lunged Al outside and he was a bit... excited about it. He definitely had a lot of fun and wore himself right out. I decided not to ride him that day since he did a lot on the lunge. The footing out there is similar to what I have at home, which means it's a bit deeper than what they've been used to in the indoor. I didn't want to make him too sore his first time out there. I forget why I didn't end up doing the others out there that day. It might have started to rain? I can't remember. It might have just been too cold to get them all done. It's not important. 

Saturday though? Saturday was pretty amazing. It was warm. There was sun. I rode Al out there first, and then Shiny after him. We even had friends to ride with! SO NICE! Unfortunately, when it was Eros' turn the wind kicked up at a level that was not conducive to survival. We walked out to the ring and my helmet almost blew off. Eros looked at me like I was nuts, and I agreed. So we went inside. Sunday and Monday were back in the 20's. Ridiculous. 

Al was SO happy to be outside those few days though. Sunday we stayed in but just had a tack walk day (Al's version of Sunday Funday) and he was lovely even in there. What a good boy. I think his crazy lunge time on Friday was something he'd really needed. My horses like to have a good gallop and buck once in awhile, and with the snow, then ice, now mud in the paddocks they really haven't been able to get that out. But he definitely is happiest in an outdoor ring. The one here is nice because it's not surrounded by anything at all. It's up on a little hill with fields around it on the long sides and the paddocks behind it where the horses are turned out all day. Meaning no scary trees nearby, and buddies galore in the back. What more could an Al ask for? So this week, despite conditions being less than ideal, I've ridden him out there. I can't get over how much more relaxed he is outside vs the indoor. Not to say he doesn't still break on my constantly... But when he does, he just kind of peters out very politely with no tension at all. Which... bad behavior yes, and I'm correcting that, but I'll take that over his panicked llama impression he likes to do inside. Yesterday it was chilly and the wind was just silly, but we did the thing anyway. I didn't do a lot, still testing the waters. But we had a nice ride. Today started out pretty nice weather wise. It was low 50's with a breeze but not crazy. Unfortunately about 5 minutes in the wind picked up. It was NUTS. Like I honestly felt I could get blown right off the horse. But you know what Al did? He just went around the ring like a grown up horse. It was so weird. I liked it very much! I did end the ride a little early when we were having a break and the jumps started blowing over. I'm no dummy. I know when to get off. Ha! Still, I was on for a half hour, so that's a full ride if you ask me! Maybe a bit more walking than ideally we'd do, but who cares? I'm really proud of my horse guys. 

I do need to note though, I've been raving a lot about Al's attitude lately because we've had way more good days than bad. Which is definitely a big deal! But we have had a few bad ones too. Last Thursday he was back to his old shenanigans. Spooking at everything, could barely get him to even walk around the indoor ring under saddle. I was pretty frustrated. Like how could this horse, who had been going so nicely for nearly a full week just revert back to an anxious mess? And honestly, I have no idea why. I just know that he did. I was really glad when it was nice enough and the footing was dry enough to take him outside the next day. It absolutely reset his mind back to the good horse I had been enjoying. So will he regress again? Of course he will! That's horses. But hopefully we're getting to a point where he can start trusting me to come back down to earth. Hopefully. Not definitely. But we'll just keep at it either way.

Shiny has been out a couple times and she's definitely happier outside, but no more willing to come forward. Ha. She is who she is. On the one hand it would be nice if she'd feel so happy she would just flow around the ring with a nice big forward step! But on the other hand, I do appreciate that she's the same horse no matter what and there are no antics because we're outside after being cooped up all winter. Growing up, I've always had a hard time getting back outside with my horses. They were always NUTS! Like straight up trying to kill me nuts. All of them. So having a pony that's just like oh cool we're outside. And goes back to her regular self is kind of refreshing. Even if it's painfully slow. Ha! She's actually only ridden out in the ring the one day on Saturday. But Friday after a quick ride inside I walked her down the driveway and back. (Friday everything was still too wet for riding on. The grassy areas were straight up sinking even for little Shiny.) Our drive way is STEEP and pretty long, so it was a nice walk. We went with one of the other boarders and her super sweet horse. Shiny couldn't really keep up with him, but she's not at all bothered by being left behind. (I love a mare that's confident in herself.) I really think she would love to be a pony that just gets to hack out everyday. Which is fun because the boys have no interest in nature. Maybe this well be the year I finally ship out for a trail ride with friends with Shiny. 

I think I mentioned last week that her bloodwork came back so much better so she's started getting one of her hay portions per day unsoaked. Dry, sugar full hay! I bet it's delicious for her. Unfortunately, she's started coughing since starting that... so I think she may end up just having soaked hay the rest of her life. Sigh. She gets her dry hay at breakfast, and I've heard her coughing when she comes in from turnout. But once I ride her she stops. And she doesn't cough during the ride. She did this some before we started soaking hay and I had forgotten all about it since it went away. But I'm going to chat with doc about it. Figured I'd give it a couple days to see if she adjusts. There's nothing coming out her nose, and no fever or anything like that. No weird behavior. Just the bit of a cough for part of the day. I'm not alarmed, but obviously need to make a change if it persists. 

Workin' on his fitness

Poor deprived Eros had not gotten to ride out yet. But if you know Eros, you know he doesn't mind given the wind situation. He doesn't believe in nature and the less he has to see of it the better. Though I'm sure he'll be very happy when we finally do ride out there. He's been going pretty well, though a true right bend is still a thing of folklore. I do think our rescheduled vet appointment is this Friday (fingers crossed) so I'm sure we'll get it figured out then. And if not then, our body worker should be back soon too. I imagine that would help. I finally added the butt band to his Catago version of the equiband and I was amazed at how different he felt with that on! I've only used it once so far, so he walked in it for 6 minutes and then did two laps of trot each way before I pulled it off. (You're supposed to introduce it slowly so they don't get too sore.) But even just from that short time in it, he was moving better. After I took it off too! So that's exciting. I should have done it sooner, but I really thought he might be weird about it. He was not. And when he wasn't, I realized he'd probably gone in the Pessoa rig at the old barn when we first got him and was likely used to the feeling from that. It's been so long since he lost lunge line privileges I hadn't even considered that. Oops. Now I know. I plan to just use the bands once a week usually. But maybe we'll bump up to twice at some point. For a horse like Eros that likes to get a little long and hollow, it's a very useful tool to bring that slinky back together. He reminds me of the dog from Toy Story sometimes. 

I'm not sure how much we'll really accomplish the rest of the week and into next. It's pouring buckets out right now, so I think tomorrow will be an indoor day for everyone. (The rain stops tonight but I think the ring will likely be too wet.) Maybe we'll play with some little jumps if that happens to keep things fun. Friday is hopefully the vet, and then I have non horse things happening at kind of weird times this weekend so I need to fit horses in around those. Then next Wednesday I'm heading up to the University of CT to give a braiding clinic in the evening. So while I won't be super rushed, I can't dawdle at the barn that day. It's nice to have a bunch of things on the calendar though! As much as I love just spending all my time with horses, it is nice to get out of the barn here and there!

How are things for you guys? Is spring trying to arrive for you too? I hope so!!

Truthful Tuesday

 

The other day while I was in the shower doing some of my best pondering, I started thinking about fear. Specifically as it relates to riding. And I started thinking about riding Al, because I am certainly the least confident on him versus the others. Mostly because you just never know how things will go. The other two are pretty predictable and easier to direct where you want the ride to go. 

I often say I'm a chicken and I'm not a brave rider. But the more I thought about it, I don't think fear is the right word. I'm not scared of Al. I don't think he'd ever hurt me intentionally. I think I lack confidence in our partnership, but that's different than being afraid. Or lack of confidence that I'll react the way that Al needs me to act. But I'm not afraid to act. And then I started wondering if that's true for a lot of amateurs. Are we really afraid up there? I mean yeah sometimes we're all scared a little shitless. But I mean overall, when we're in the saddle are we really scared? Or just unsure? Have enough trainers accused of us being afraid and so we just embrace that? 

I've decided to reframe the way I think about my emotions in the saddle. It's fine to feel unsure or insecure. It's even fine to feel afraid. But I think it's important to know the difference. How you approach each of those feelings is very different. I can't speak for anyone but myself, but working through fear for me is a lot different than working through uncertainty. If I'm genuinely afraid of something, I might need to break it down into little pieces and accomplish one part at a time. It might take awhile. But if I'm just unsure? I just need to go do the thing. Make the mistakes. Figure it out. Once the desired outcome is achieved and repeatable the uncertainty diminishes.

So anyway... that was kind of a lot of rambling, but my confession is that I working on my feelings. Does this make sense to anyone but me? Cause I think maybe it's a lot less profound that it seemed when I was in the shower having a ponder.