Truthful Tuesday: The one with the certainty

Trainer B who has Badger right now to help find him his person LOVES him so much. Like SO MUCH. She said I should come ride him because she thinks he's grown up a lot since I last sat on him. I think this is probably true since I haven't ridden him since January. He's had lots of different people on him which can only help a horse learn to accept more types of rides. She was kind of hoping I'd fall back in love with him. I was kind of hoping so too because he really is everything I could ever want in a hunter horse. And then some.
So Saturday morning, after braiding a tail, I headed north about an hour to ride Badger. He was out in his paddock when I got there (without bell boots... but I had that remedied before putting him back out after my ride). I think he remembered me because he came right over when I got there.

Still looks a little prego... Are all buckskins fat?

Badger is one of the itchiest horses I've known, even more so than Jamp, which may seem shocking, so I spent some time giving him a nice curry and grooming. Then I brought him down to the ring and got on. We walked around for a bit, and he didn't seem to be spooky anywhere. At trainer A's, he always had a spot he liked to spook in whether it was Florida or CT. I didn't sense that at Trainer B's. Maybe he was a new horse!
But while I was walking, I realized I was stalling. I wasn't really wanting to pick up the trot yet. Why? I'm not sure. Eventually I did. It was a lovely, bold trot. He was moving out great. He was soft in the contact. If I asked him to slow down he did. If I asked for more he gave it to me. But I wasn't ready for the canter. I went back to the walk for a lap of the ring. And I realized I was trying to build up the nerve to canter this horse. This horse who was being perfect.

Looks wild and out of control doesn't he?

 You guys. I'm afraid of Badger. He's not a horse you should be afraid of. He's not an especially forward thinker. His favorite gait is halt. And here I am, nervous to canter. To CANTER. Huh.
So eventually I did the thing. I'm pretty good at making myself do things I don't want to. I cantered the long side of the ring. He wanted to build. Probably to a nice canter because probably I wanted him to crawl around the ring. So I brought him back to the trot. Which was more forward. We trotted for awhile. Walked again for a bit. Eventually I made myself canter a little the other direction. It felt too fast to me. It wasn't. But I didn't like it.I brought him back to the trot and worked there for awhile until I felt he was listening to me and doing what I asked rather than what he wanted to do. And then I let him be done. I wasn't on very long.
I realized that the entire ride I was just waiting to be done. And THAT my friends is the story of how I knew I was making the right decision to sell Badger. He is everything I've ever wanted in a hunter. But he's not the one for me.