Truthful Tuesday: The one with the certainty

Trainer B who has Badger right now to help find him his person LOVES him so much. Like SO MUCH. She said I should come ride him because she thinks he's grown up a lot since I last sat on him. I think this is probably true since I haven't ridden him since January. He's had lots of different people on him which can only help a horse learn to accept more types of rides. She was kind of hoping I'd fall back in love with him. I was kind of hoping so too because he really is everything I could ever want in a hunter horse. And then some.
So Saturday morning, after braiding a tail, I headed north about an hour to ride Badger. He was out in his paddock when I got there (without bell boots... but I had that remedied before putting him back out after my ride). I think he remembered me because he came right over when I got there.

Still looks a little prego... Are all buckskins fat?

Badger is one of the itchiest horses I've known, even more so than Jamp, which may seem shocking, so I spent some time giving him a nice curry and grooming. Then I brought him down to the ring and got on. We walked around for a bit, and he didn't seem to be spooky anywhere. At trainer A's, he always had a spot he liked to spook in whether it was Florida or CT. I didn't sense that at Trainer B's. Maybe he was a new horse!
But while I was walking, I realized I was stalling. I wasn't really wanting to pick up the trot yet. Why? I'm not sure. Eventually I did. It was a lovely, bold trot. He was moving out great. He was soft in the contact. If I asked him to slow down he did. If I asked for more he gave it to me. But I wasn't ready for the canter. I went back to the walk for a lap of the ring. And I realized I was trying to build up the nerve to canter this horse. This horse who was being perfect.

Looks wild and out of control doesn't he?

 You guys. I'm afraid of Badger. He's not a horse you should be afraid of. He's not an especially forward thinker. His favorite gait is halt. And here I am, nervous to canter. To CANTER. Huh.
So eventually I did the thing. I'm pretty good at making myself do things I don't want to. I cantered the long side of the ring. He wanted to build. Probably to a nice canter because probably I wanted him to crawl around the ring. So I brought him back to the trot. Which was more forward. We trotted for awhile. Walked again for a bit. Eventually I made myself canter a little the other direction. It felt too fast to me. It wasn't. But I didn't like it.I brought him back to the trot and worked there for awhile until I felt he was listening to me and doing what I asked rather than what he wanted to do. And then I let him be done. I wasn't on very long.
I realized that the entire ride I was just waiting to be done. And THAT my friends is the story of how I knew I was making the right decision to sell Badger. He is everything I've ever wanted in a hunter. But he's not the one for me.

Truthful Tuesday: the one about Badger

I get asked a lot about Badger. What he's doing. Why I don't have him at home. Why I don't show him. Etc, etc. I'm not going to answer all of those questions just yet. But I'll talk about our plan.
Badger, as I type this, is on a trailer heading up to CT from Florida. He's enjoying a nice box stall since it's so hot. I've been getting updates from every stop along the way, with some adorable photos.

He's not coming home to my barn though. Instead he's heading to the barn of a trainer I know. She does a lot of horse sales (no, she's not a "dealer") and has her own successful boarding and training business as well.
I'm at a point where I really need a horse to ride. I love grooming and hanging with Rio and Jampy, but this not riding most of the summer thing is killing me slowly. Kind of literally because lazy over here hasn't been running either. Anyway, I need to sell Badger to get a new horse. So sending him to trainer B is the best option right now. He's not even up here, and she has four very respectable, good horseman already lined up to see him.
So why am I selling the fanciest horse I've probably ever had (also will ever have)? There are a few reasons. But the main one is that I don't ride him very well. Could I learn to? Sure, in time, I'm sure we could get to know each other. But Badger is an athletic, slightly opinionated horse, and I don't think that's the smartest ride for me to have when I ride by myself at my house.
Sometimes it's hard to step back and realize that what you WANT and what you NEED are two different things. And that's really the main issue here. Do I WANT a really fancy derby horse that's buckskin? OMG YES. SO MUCH. Can I ride that? Not really. Not right now. So what do I need?
I need a steady eddy. Does he need to be a dead head? No. I'm a decent rider. I can handle some shenanigans here and there. But I need one that will give me some warning if shenanigans are about to ensue. And I need one that I can toss on a lunge line if those shenanigans are going to be particularly rowdy. At the end of the day, this just wasn't the right match for me right now. Could it be down the road? Maybe. But I'm not in a position to wait until I get down that road to make this relationship work. And so, Badger is on the hunt for HIS perfect human. I'm pretty confident he'll find her (or him). He's really going well right now, and he's just so darn cute.
Here's a video they sent up to me from Florida a couple weeks ago.

I know. Watching that video, I want him too!
So. Do I worry about what might happen to him? Sure, a little. But he's nice enough, he's going to end up in some good hands. Trainer B works with reputable professionals. And that horse is smart enough to keep himself safe. Do I feel like a terrible person for not keeping this horse forever and ever? Nope. I know some people think that you should keep every horse that ever falls into your ownership. But I don't think that's reasonable for most people. It's certainly not for me. I'll do my best to make sure that he ends up in a good place. And I'll try and keep track of him if he changes hands again. I will, to the best of my ability, make sure he has a soft landing down the road should he need one. But for now, we both need to move on.