I've been struggling a little bit the last few weeks months, and kind of just assumed it was the perimenopause. Or my age. Or maybe I was a little depressed? But as I was marinating in all my feelings and frustrations the other day I realized I've felt all of this before. And back then it turned out to be my autoimmune stuff. I have Hashimotos which is the easiest autoimmune disorder you can be afflicted with. If you have to have one, you want this one. It's generally very well controlled and for the most part the worst of it is fatigue. But sometimes the little symptoms kind of sneak up on you until you're feeling all of them at once and that's a little harder to keep pushing through.
My current complaints are fatigue, weight gain, and feeling down. And when I realized what this is probably from I reached out to my doctor. But here's where the bad timing comes in. Doc is away this week. Of course he is. (Bad timing is my thing after all.) I mean it's fine, what's one more week of the blahs right? But the frustrating part is the NP that was answering his messages was so dismissive. She looked at my last labs and said my numbers looked good and asked if I'm taking the medication properly. Come on lady, I've been dealing with this for ten years now. I know how to take the meds. Sometimes the numbers can be in range technically, but the symptoms don't lie, and a little med tweak can patch me right up. All she needed to say was that she'd pass along the message. Talking at me like I'm incompetent was not helpful. Sigh. I'll just chalk it up to the bad timing. And I'm probably just irritable cause you know... Hashimotos.
I feel like I've been whining a lot on the blog lately. My apologies. Thanks for sticking with me. Hopefully doc will be back soon and I'll be back to a happier weird horse lady.
It’s good to get checked out, just like we do with horses when they’re not quite right, lol. It can be really frustrating and depressing to have a horse you love and keep hitting walls. I feel it in my bones.
ReplyDeleteI agree! I was going to put it off until my fall check up, but then I realized that was silly when I could get to feeling better sooner.
DeleteIt's really hard. I feel very defeated much of the time, and like a real failure. And then I start thinking about all the horses that haven't worked out and how I'm the common denominator in all of them. The only good thing about that spiral downward is that it makes me more determined to figure this horse out. Because I don't need to be the problem. I just need some help to find the solution. Hopefully anyway.
Ugh, I hate it when they don't take us seriously. It's can be so frustrating as a woman dealing with doctors - they are so quick to dismiss us as having PMS or whatever. I have had to fire a few lately that were dismissing my perimenopause symptoms as normal. It's not normal and you can't tell me what I'm literally experiencing on a day to day basis is not happening! Definitely keep pushing to see your doc and if he doesn't listen, maybe find a new one. :( You know your body better than they do!
ReplyDeleteRight! We really do know ourselves better than anyone. Thankfully my doc is wonderful. He actually responded to my message while on his vacation and put an order in for new blood work. I'm going to get that done early next week.
DeleteNothing annoys me more than practitioners who clearly aren’t interested in hearing our opinions lol. I feel like that happens a lot with the small animal vet industry… tho otoh I’m sure they are constantly dealing with a lot of crazy ppl too lol….
ReplyDeleteExactly! I'm really not one to complain about things, unless it's a real issue. My doc looks at me incredulously on the regular. Like once I asked about migraines and he didn't know I get them because I never mentioned it. So I think he's figured out if I'm reaching out it's a real thing. I don't really know the NP because I don't think I've ever seen her except to get a shot.
DeleteAnd yes, I think a lot of small animal vets don't realize that horse girls know more than most people about animal stuff. I have a good one thankfully!
I see you, and I hear you. Being dismissed by your healthcare team is NOT okay, and I hope your doc does a better job than the NP when he returns. As someone who also has "normal labs" but deals with symptoms that are likely autoimmune based (fighting to get answers), it is so frustrating. Take good care of yourself. Sending a supportive hug.
ReplyDeleteThank you! I knew you'd understand! My doc is really good about listening to me. He loves a good test though, so we'll have to see what he makes me do... Hopefully we'll just try bumping the meds up a little. I've had a higher dose in the past, so hopefully he'll be game for that again.
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