Truthful Tuesday: Horses vs Humans

I kind of feel like I'm having deja vu. Romey's leaving this weekend feels so much like when I said goodbye to Ducky a few years ago. They are a lot alike in many ways. They are both really reactive. They both have very strong opinions. Both enjoy the taste of human flesh. And somehow, they both took a tiny, itty bitty, little piece of my cold black heart.

I eventually ran into the same issues with Romey as I had with Ducky. Refusal to work being one of the most frustrating. They both had some soundness stuff too. So for each case, it was time for them to move on when they did. But both times, I was really surprised at how sad I felt when they pulled out of the driveway.

SMILE!

As I was hiding in the barn having a bit of a moment after Romey left, I realized I'd felt these emotions before. Not just when Ducky left, but I've felt it with humans too. Being in a wrong horse relationship isn't much different than being in the wrong human relationship. And here's where it gets interesting to me...
Awhile back, I dated a wonderful man for about a year. I think I knew it wasn't working much earlier on in our relationship, but I kept it going trying to make it work. He was a really sweet guy. He thought the world of me. But I didn't think the world of him. Beyond his being sweet and wonderful to me, there was a side from his past that was less so.  History of drug abuse, children he didn't see, that sort of thing. While I know people change, there were signs that those things were still there. I put a lot of work into that relationship. Tried to get him to see where things went wrong in his past. Why he should reach out to the kids. Etc etc. But my advice went unheard and eventually we had to part ways.

"I want more of dis please. No workies."

 As I sat with my coffee after saying goodbye to Romey, I realized my relationship with him was much the same as my ex. Romey could be sweet (mostly when he was sedated...) and he cared about me (probably because I supplied the food) but our relationship was not a healthy one. We wanted different things. Romey wanted to live in a field and eat grass and not do work. I wanted him to be a show hunter. Very different wants, clearly!

It helped me process my feelings a little better, to see that comparison. I couldn't figure out why I was so sad when Romey left until I saw those similarities. I gave Romey almost two years of my time, energy, and even some love. It's hard to see that pull out of the driveway the last time, whether it's a human or an equine. It might even be harder when it's a horse.
For all the good and the bad, Romes gets to keep his little, itty-bitty, tiny piece of my heart. I'll keep him there forever. The rest of him arrived safe and sound in KY. He's going to have some time off and then see if he'd like a job as a light trail horse.

So after all that, today's confession is that I seemingly can't separate my human and horse relationships. None of them easy, are but all of them have been worth it.

Truthful Tuesday: Romey Edition

Today's confession is that I've given up on Romey. Sometimes you have to know when you've spent all you can spend. Not just monetarily but emotionally too.

Romey hasn't been sound since he came to me. I've given him lots of time, lots of rehab, and lots of vet and body work visits. Only to finally discover he had an old fracture way up high on the right hind. My vet can't fix that. We tried injecting the SI to see if that could help him compensate better. Which it did. For about three weeks. I had the vet back out when Romey decided he was no longer interested in trotting for me. (Let alone canter!) Romey also has kissing spine. And while Doc didn't think that was causing Romey's refusal to work, I can't help but wonder if it's contributing. Add in his not so delightful personality and I finally had to admit this just isn't going to work.

So then what? I love my little farm, but it's far from perfect. My turnout is barely adequate for my working horses, let alone one who isn't going to be ridden. So keeping him at my place would be unfair. Not an option. Romey may not have been a good match for me, but he was a war horse on the track. He's more than earned a decent place to live his life. So I started researching retirement farms. I had no idea the scope of what was out there! They can range anywhere from $150 per month to over $1000. But I didn't really want for him to go somewhere that would pull his shoes, throw him in a field and forget about him. So we're talking in the $450 to -$650 range per month. Not horribly unreasonable, but with Badger in training, it would definitely strain my ability to buy groceries and put gas in my car. (And I'd have to quit shopping cold turkey. Can you imagine?!) The other factor? Romey is eight years old. Other than having a creaky skeleton, he's quite healthy. And he's a little aggressive. All those things mean that his horse will happy and comfortably live in retirement for at minimum 15 years. You guys. That's approximately $90,000.
I like to think of myself as a responsible horse owner. I do the best I am able for my tall kids (the short ones too actually), and if I can't keep them, I find the best home I can for them (not the short kids, they always stay. ALWAYS). But financially, I wasn't sure I could swing this for Romey.

At this point, I was basically thinking I should just give up riding and nurse these animals I have through old age as best I can at my farm. But finally, I decided to reach out to his last owner. As they have a no slaughter cause in their contracts, I figured they must know of affordable, decent places to retire these horses. Luckily, this was a great decision. In talking with his last human, she asked what my vet had thought about him having a light work job. My vet very much thinks he can have a job, and that he doesn't necessarily need to retire fully. But he does need some more vet work and will require some maintenance. Previous human has many people come to her for light work horses and/or walking trail horses. Either of these jobs could be great for him. So she agreed to take him back (I pay shipping and a small processing fee). She will give him the winter off, consult with the vets at the University of Kentucky, and then find an appropriate home for him.
I'm relieved that this is all working out, and I hope things go to plan. While he didn't work out for me, I still have a spot in my cold little heart for him. I'm sad that he's leaving, but I'm hopeful he'll find a home that he's happier in. He's such a handsome guy, and while kind of a bitey jerk, I really do think he's more playful than mean. He'll be leaving next week sometime. Oddly enough, I'm really going to miss him.

Safe travels Romes. I'll miss you buddy.

Truthful Tuesday

I have a secret I've been keeping for a couple of weeks now...



Surprise!



I bought a new horse!

Everyone meet Ancient Rome, aka "Romey". He is a 6 year old thoroughbred, about 16 hands tall. He is currently in Kentucky and is being gelded today. I'm not sure yet when he'll get here, but I can't wait!

Romey was very successful on the race track, and has been hanging out in a field for the last few months. He just started back to work as a hunt seat horse, so he's VERY green. I'm excited to see what his future will hold!