I didn't get a chance to ask dad for the saddle financing tonight. I was planning to ask before dinner when it could be a one on one conversation but dad and stepmom arrived last of the group, so I didn't have the opportunity. I'll try again soon though. (Also, I'm really bad at asking for money if you hadn't gathered that already.) Anyway... let's talk about horses! We'll start with Al since he's generally the most interesting.
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I was cleaning up hay in the ring while Al was turned out this
morning and he came down with a case of the zoomies!
Much fun was had. And yes, it was a little too warm for that
sheet, but I wasn't the one who put him out. |
So, after much soul searching and self induced angst, I've decided to change my frame of mind regarding Al. I was very bothered at the thought of selling him (however right that decision might be) which made me think that I'm not ready for that step. I spent a lot of time contemplating where we keep going wrong. And I think it's my expectations. I keep having this need to get him ready to compete. But the reality is, I don't have the funds nor the amount of help (like to care for horses at home if I take one away to show) to really get back to showing. So why am I so worked up about getting to that point? It doesn't make any sense. I think a lot of why Shiny and Eros work so well for me is that I have no expectations on them. If we have some bad days, I just shrug it off and we try again later. But with Al, I take it really personally. Like it's a huge failure. And that's not fair to him nor me. So I'm removing expectations. And I'm trying very hard to just ride the horse I have each day. (Which I have to tell you, this horse has many personalities. I should rename him Sybil.) We've had a nice few rides lately since I've stopped worrying so much about all the things we should be doing or how something might be the wrong way to train a horse. (And by that I mean maybe we avoid the scary parts of the ring some days, not like doing something inherently very wrong.) My plan right now is to set us up for success. And that looks different on different days.
I really wanted to jump on Friday, but Al was pretty spooky. I decided to just pick what felt safe to accomplish for that day. I warmed him up where he felt comfortable, and then we just touched on an area where he was less comfortable. Like maybe I rode the quarter line by the scary side, and then leg yielded out so he just had to be near the rail for a few strides before we turned across the ring. Just little brushes with the scary stuff instead of the whole thing. And we did get to jump a few things! My combination is set up to trot in, so we had plenty of room to approach from either direction without having to go down the full scary side. We also managed to get through the little bounces I had set up and then finished up with the oxer that's in the safe space. We never jumped toward anything he deems snort worthy. Just did what felt safe, and we both finished up feeling pretty good about ourselves. We even jumped 2'6" out of the combo. Which I know is pretty tiny, but with how things have been going for us, I was was happy with it.
I could tell Al was happy with himself, and I think he left the ring with more confidence than he entered it with. As a reward, I let him go bitless (though I definitely used a saddle) for Sunday Funday. We did a tack walk and then went out to graze (mounted) in the yard. Which I've only done maybe twice before. Deposits in the trust bank for sure! We had to quickly pop back in the barn (still mounted) to wait out a pop up downpour and then we went back out for more grass. I was really proud of him. He did kind of panic about something with the neighbor on the way back in, but what can you do? No day is perfect. And nobody died.
Monday is their day off, and then Tuesday was a flat day. He was angsty as expected after a day off, but we took the same approach as the weekend. Working in the safe zones, and then just touching on the scary parts a little at a time. By the end of the ride he was working up through his back and mostly tuned in to me rather than his surroundings. It was pretty nice!
I had hoped to jump him today, but after all of his zoomies in turnout this morning, he was exhausted. Instead we just did an easy flat, more of the same as the day before, but with a little less oomph. Now I know this won't last. This is one of his "good" phases, and the bad will come back at some point. But instead of spiraling when that happens, I'm just going to shrug it off (haha... hopefully) and find where I can get a small win. And with any luck, this approach will pay off in the long run. Time will tell.
You guys wanna know what Eros has been doing?? He's jumped the outside line! Multiple times!
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| The in of the line |
And you know what he hasn't done? Torpedos! I'm so proud of him. Today he would have had every right to torpedo on me. I jumped into the line with definitely not enough pace, and then had to gun him for the five. And it was LOOOOONNNNGGG. Like we could have died long and I should NOT have made that decision. But he's a good boy and we made it. Normally after I do something terrible like that he just torpedoes everything else we jump for the rest of the day. But not today! Oh no. This time, I jumped in nicely and asked him to add in the six. And he just did it! Nicely! Softly! Such a prince. I quit on that before I ruined it. Saturday I jumped him also and he had a longer session. We also put the little oxer up some from where it's been. It's a swedish so I'm not positive how high it is. Maybe 2'3"? I don't think he noticed it was bigger.
Shiny is already growing her winter coat in, and it's been in the mid to upper 70's so she has no interest in working very hard. (Too hot she says). Guess I'll have to think about clipping her soon. Today she did a 9 in the five stride. And it wasn't tight. It should be a six for her. She added THREE strides. That's a lot of extra steps. Lazy girl. She feels good other than the lack of forward. Like very supple through her body and she's really willing to lift her back at the trot. So I don't think anything is wrong other than a lack of motivation. And maybe the fact that her saddles doesn't fit. I don't think it bugs her at the trot, but maybe it does at the canter. I have it shimmed up really well, so who knows for sure.
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Put the oxer back down for her... 2'3" looks REAL big
when your pony is practically cantering backwards. |
I have a wedding to attend in New York this weekend so the horses will have Friday- Sunday off. I'll probably ride Monday next week since they don't really need FOUR days off. But we'll see. I'm kind of looking forward to the little bit of a break. It's been a long summer for us!
Have any of you had a similar shift in mindset like I'm trying with Al? Did it work for you?
That's more or less how I manage Nay Nay (when he's in work). If he's having a day, we either do what he's able to do or call it a day and try again the next day. I found trying to push through with him just doesn't work from him and doesn't have any impact on our next ride. In Nay's case, he's either phenomenal or terrible and there is generally no in between. But, having no expectations really has helped me from getting upset or stressed.
ReplyDeleteNay isn't spooky, but he is reactive and it's very hard to bring him down once he starts. My trainer said it's almost as if he has a panic attack and loses all self control.
Yes, that's a good description. I think it's an inability to regulate their emotions, but I don't know how to help. I'm working on it! But I haven't cracked the code just yet.
DeleteIt sounds like you're keeping him under threshold with that approach. Hopefully that keeps adding to that trust bank and allowing him to learn better habits! Fingers crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteEros sounds like such a joy to ride.
Yes, exactly. I think he needs the chance to feel successful for awhile.
DeleteEros is a joy! He comes out a little creaky and slow, but he's loosened up, he's such an angel!
Pretty much every time I get in a pickle with my horses it’s because I’m pressuring myself and them to be a certain way rather r then dealing with what is. I know it’s wrong, yet I keep doing it. Good for you with Al.
ReplyDeleteExactly this. And at the end of the day, I'm the one who lives with him, so I don't need him to fit in anyone else's box. Just mine. And my box can be flexible.
DeleteI made a lot of plans with Gigi this year, almost none of which ended up coming to fruition, for a multitude of reasons. So I went back to just doing flat work. I spent a while doing dressage and went to a schooling show with minimal lessons. But every time we did get to do a lesson or were able to jump, it went way better than expected. The one trainer at our barn (who I rarely work with) told me that Gigi has been a lot better since I've been the primary one to ride her this year, which made me feel good. Sometimes going back to basics is the best answer and it makes moving forward that much easier when you are able to do so.
ReplyDeleteI do agree about the basics, they're so important! In Al's case, I think it's more complicated than that, because everything is in there and accessible when he's able to give me his attention. So it's more trying to figure out how to get his focus than what we're actually trying to work on.
DeleteBringing up a young horse sort of revolutionized my approach to training and riding. Since I was starting with this totally blank slate who'd never had one bad thing happen in his short life, I tried really hard to make sure Madigan never had a negative experience with people. From the time was a baby, whenever he worked, my trainer and I tried to meet him where he was that day. This approach means he has enormous trust in people, which means he's almost always willing to try to do the right thing. When he does refuse to participate, it's usually because he's overwhelmed or frightened.
ReplyDeleteI used to get annoyed at my horses when they wouldn't do something I thought they could do easily, but these days I'm likely to try to make the task easier or switch to something I know they're good at. I know they're doing their best and I know they're more likely to eventually do the thing I want if they aren't scared of me in addition to the thing!
Plus, Story is one of those horses who will escalate right back at you if you try to escalate on her. She used to try to kick me in the head when I'd get too aggressive about forcing her in the trailer! Once I stopped trying to punish her for not getting in the trailer and started rewarding her for any desirable behavior, she stopped trying to kick me and started loading right away. (It helps that she's very food motivated lol.)
You and Al will get to where you want to go!
Yes! So much of this is so relatable.
DeleteThis part: "When he does refuse to participate, it's usually because he's overwhelmed or frightened." I think that is exactly Al. I've had so many trainers say oh he's not really afraid, but like his heart is RACING and he's breathing like a dragon. To me, that's a horse that is genuinely worried. I made a big mistake letting a bad cop get on him a couple years back, and I think I'm still trying to undo some of that. If I can just keep my patience hopefully we'll get through this eventually!
Shiny is like Story in that way. If she thinks she deserves some pressure she'll take it (like when she's Shiny Shuffling along and Mr. Tappy has to get to work... she accepts that fine) but if she thinks I'm being unreasonable she will for sure let me know about it!
Oh my lord nine in five, shiny?? Reeeally?? Hahaha… and what a good boy Eros! Love that he stayed soft! That’s so interesting about the shift in mindset about Al too, but I honestly totally believe in that. I’ve known a shocking number of people who HAVE decided to sell their horses, and then suddenly things started clicking and they started getting along and having good rides. I’ve seen it too much to believe it’s a coincidence - it really seems like a shift in attitude can literally sometimes be enough. Tho of course I’m also totally supportive of the reality that this won’t fix every issue or resolve every relationship, but my fingers are crossed for you!
ReplyDeleteRight?! NINE in the five. We'll see if we can get that to 8 maybe this week.... Hahaha!
DeleteI'm not sure if the shift is really helping things or not, he was pretty cuckoo today. But it did help me because I found something to work on that I was comfortable with and he came around and did the thing really nicely. The difference was that I was satisfied with accomplishing my chosen exercise which was only at the walk, instead of being frustrated and feeling like a failure. So it may not fix things the way I'd ultimately like, but at least I feel successful instead of like a giant loser who should give up horses. Whatever keeps you sane, right?